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Our e-mail program, FREE for all of our advertisers, provides a monthly greeting card by e-mail. This card is a brief, personalized, seasonal greeting, with no commercial advertising, and signed by the business owner, and his or her web site.
“ Dear Joseph Brown,
Happy Thanksgiving Day.
May all your thanksgiving blessings come true for you this season, and may your family gatherings be festive and warm
Elliott Jones
Jonesfurniture.com”
Our e-mail service includes sending birthday and anniversary e-mail cards to your customers.
Our e-mail service includes sending free monthly press releases about your company to the local media.
Our biweekly e-mail personalized newsletter has funny stories from our radio shows, interesting and family friendly web sites, and local charity notices, signed by the business owner and his or her web site.
“Dear Joseph Brown,
Our letter for November 5, 2008
A Connecticut man went to a Sunoco station, fired a shotgun twice at each of the gas pumps, then drove off and crashed his car into two other cars. Stone cold sober. Just a guy with attitude.
A man found that his best friend was texting his girlfriend, took a 13 ton front end loader and crushed his friends car
Sheri was asking listeners, what interesting jobs their parents had requested of them. A woman from Texas called and said she had gotten any "but hardship" drivers license at 13, and that her single mother would call her at night, from different bars, to drive down and pick her and her date up and drive them somewhere.
Sheri mentions that she sleeps with two pillows, and her cat, "Mr.Fluffington" burrows underneath both pillows and sleeps there. No one knows how he can breathe, or why he stays there.
Both Bob and Sherri mentioned that they had always been married to partners on the opposite sides of the political spectrum. This would cause endless trouble. One would come back to the house with the, "I voted" sticker, and the partner would say "I'll be right back. I'm going to cancel you out!" Perhaps this gives us some insight as to why Bob and Sheri are both single.
Last week, the court in South Korea, affirmed the punishment for someone caught performing adultery -- 55 years in jail.
In England, a 35-year-old man went to the bathroom in a restaurant. It seems that some pranksters had put superglue all over the stainless steel toilet seat. Firefighters were summoned, but were unable to free him so they had to unbolt the seat, take the man with the seat attached to hospital where doctors needed chemicals to separate the man from the toilet seat.
In another problem with the bathroom, a French passenger on the ultra -- fast. TGV train, dropped his cell phone into the toilet. As he was reaching for his cell phone, his arm became stuck. The train service was delayed for two hours, and finally firefighters had to remove the man and the toilet from the train in order to free his arm.
In Romania, police were called to control some teens who had been drinking and were rowdy, and the first police officer to arrive summoned backup help, but as he was about to fire a warning shot, ended up shooting his police partner in the thigh. A comment from the police department suggested that that particular officer will not be receiving the award for "marksman of the year."
A Romanian husband, unhappy with the constant nagging of his life, offered her for sale on a website usually used for used cars.
He described her as a 1993 model, nice suspension, good condition, second owner and asked for $4 million. No bids arrived, so he dropped his price to $6000 for a quick sale, but even then the only bids that arrived asked to make time payments.
In Tampa, Florida, Louise and her boyfriend Guy live in a mobile home. Louise became extremely distraught with Guy, accusing him of hiding her false teeth. As she cried out accusation after accusation, Guy repeatedly denied having taken the teeth. Finally, he offered to give Louise some flying lessons, picking her up and tossing her down several times. Louise retired to the kitchen and came back with a butcher knife. She began to chase Guy outside the house, threatening to kill him if he did not disclose the location of her false teeth. Neighbors observing this summoned the police. Finally, Louise chased Guy back into the house, and he was able to lock himself in the bathroom. Louise began to stab the bathroom door with a butcher knife until the police arrived. Louise and Guy are both in jail. The false teeth had fallen behind one of the tables in the mobile.
Have a great week - Elliott Jones
Jonesfurniture.com”
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